Straight from the Horse's Mouth
by Ethos
Summary: You've heard Flynn's take on Tangled and you've heard or guessed Rapunzel's version, but a certain chief character - cough - seems to be constantly overlooked. This is my bright and shining opportunity to correct that. It's going to be one heck of a ride.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** This is purely me horsing around (pun intended). It's not beta'd, so there's probably 1001 mistakes. It might end up being very lame and it may not get finished, heck, I may end up being the only one who reads any of it, but I'm going to (try to) be ok with that. Still, if you want to read it, or leave criticisms and comments, please do. Happy New Year!

* * *

Forward

Greetings. I'm assuming you have heard the story of Rapunzel and how she came to reclaim her rightful place as the heir to the kingdom, and how a certain Eugene Fitzherbert aided her in doing just that. Unfortunately, I am also well aware that you have probably only heard the story as told by your fellow two-leggeds… erh, forgive me, I believe 'human' is the polite term these days. As… epic… a story teller as Eugene can be, I am afraid that his view was somewhat limited in certain areas, and, in truth, there is yet another dream, another story, that I am sure he failed to mention.

So now, with no more ado, I would like to present to you, the story of Rapunzel's Return, Eugene's Capture, and My Recognition.

~ Maximus

Prologue

My name is Maximus Valerius Domitius VII, son of Dietlinde and Maximus Valerius Domitius VI. Most call me Maximus for short, and a privileged few are permitted to call me "Max." You, however, are not one of the privileged few, so keep it to Maximus, if you please. I'll spare you the intricacies of Equine culture and tradition, but you must know that I was the youngest colt of my sire, and thus granted his name, for a sire's quality can only be known at the end of his life.

Now my sire was the king's own warhorse, proud and strong, the very one who helped him to build the land known as Corona. My mother was a fine mare. They say that even at a trot, her feet hardly seemed to grace the ground. As the youngest of my seventy-three brothers and sisters, I was expected to carry the fullness of this legacy. I had only just left home when I was presented to Duke Ludwig, the king's greatest champion, as the next horse who would bear him into battle. Needless to say, I was thrilled, for what colt does not dream of high adventure and daring battles with a two-legged… erh… human at his back?

We got along well and all went swimmingly until we walked through the wood one day and he was struck by a bandit's arrow. It was then that I learned humans are mortal, a lesson that every horse hates, but one we all must learn. As a result of this, I was given to Ludwig's nephew, Thomas. Thomas is a good man, don't get me wrong, but his sire and dam were perhaps too closely related, as often happens with nobility, and he was a marginal soldier at best.

All my dreams of glory and honor faded with the knowledge that Thomas would never be good enough to merit as high a post as his uncle, and I was doomed to just be one of a thousand cavalry horses. But then an idea struck me. Humans, it pains me to say, are quite speciest, so I knew better than to hope that I would be promoted for being a good soldier, but the sword cuts both ways, and it dawned on me that all my successes would be associated with Thomas – specism again – and that, perhaps, just perhaps, if I struggled long and hard, I could advance him enough to advance my own lowly station. Thus, out of tragedy, a much more determined young stallion emerged, bound to go above and beyond the call of duty, no matter the cost.

I believe I've given you enough of a back-story to properly set things up – no matter what Eugene thinks about them, back-stories are necessary. So now let's begin the story in earnest, Tangled: Straight from the Horse's Mouth.


	2. The Chase Begins

**Author's Note:** I'm trying to keep these chapters short so I don't start taking it all too seriously. That being said, feel free to let me know if I've messed up and/or ruined something :D

* * *

Chapter 1

Chewing the last few grains of sweet oats, I waited somewhat patiently for the groom to open the gate. Stepping through, I allowed him to take my halter before turning to examine the motley crew before me.

"Form up!" I shouted, head held high. In a blink, the host of stallions rearranged themselves into something resembling proper military order. I knew quite well that none of them particularly enjoyed this. After all, this was supposed to be their liberty, but not a one of them looked at me crossways, much less gave voice to their irritation. Hours of munching grass just made a horse soft, and I would have no pudgy ponies in my outfit. After months of daring my stallions to make so much as a peep about our schedule, I had them trained.

Walking in front of them, I ran my eyes over each horse, just hoping to see that one speck of mud, that one stray wisp of hair, that one cocked hind foot so I pounce all over the poor jade.

"Corporal Felix!" I barked, eyeing a sorrel. "Your neckline is getting sloppy. Not using good posture during training, are we?"

"No, Sir!" the corporal replied, his face blank as a slate. Whatever his physical condition, at least he was still mentally sharp.

"Change it, and extra laps today. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir!"

Ignoring the last, I continued on my way, commenting on a small patch of rain rot on one bay and a few extra pounds on another. I had nearly finished inspection when I came to something that gave me pause, and that took some doing.

"What's this Demetrius?" I asked, my tone softening by the barest margin as my gaze fell on my best lieutenant; a lightly-built black who made up for it with his speed. He wasn't standing square on all four legs, and that was unthinkable in the case of a soldier as squared-away as himself.

"My foot, Sir. It feels infected."

I pursed my lips together for a moment before sighing. "Fall out," I ordered, and the stallions cleared away, all but Demetrious. After years serving alongside me, he knew without asking that I meant for him to stay. "The groom's going to love soaking that for you," I told him, something vaguely approaching a smile flickering at the corner of my lips.

"I know. I promise I'll not kick him though."

"Good. Get it seen to. We'll manage without you today," I told him, and trotted away.

A moment later, I was cantering beside the column of horses, one ear fixed on them and one toward the path ahead. Though I could not break my bearing, some part inside of me smiled to see how professional my unit was, especially when they knew I was watching them. It would not be long before we gained especial notice, not if we played our cards right. We were due some recognition, and when it came, we would be the nation's premiere Equestrian force; we'd be heroes.

Ere long we were done with my own training regimen and enjoying our liberty in earnest. The grass was sweet this time of year, and I was digging into it with especial relish as the world slowly lost its golden. I couldn't help but think back on the hard years that had led me to this spot. After all, I'd managed to get Thomas promoted to Captain of the Guard despite his best efforts. That wasn't quite true. Thomas did try to be a good soldier, and he was certainly a good man, he just seemed to be a few flakes shy of a hay bale most of the time. The fact remained though, that I'd been a driven creature and now it was finally paying off.

_DONG! D-DING! DONG! DONG!_

What? I let the grass tumble out of my mouth as I looked up and eyed the castle. Why were the alarms sounding? It had to be something major, or else they would have just raised a shout. Leader that I was, I spared the briefest of moments to scan my fellows and note their similar interest. Then soldiers began rushing hither and thither and yon like ants whose hill had just been scattered. That was it.

Snorting, tail high in the air, I trotted over to the fence and reached my neck across it, hoping that some soldier would overcome his natural spiecism and explain things to me. I always was overly optimistic.

A good five minutes later – though it seemed more like hours to me – Thomas came stalking up to us, shouting for his men to saddle up. Obviously, he was quite angry about something. That vessel in the middle of his forehead looked as if it might burst any moment, and I thrust my nose into his shoulder to try to get him to say something. It worked.

"Knock it off, we've got to go get that crown!"

Crown? That crown? As in the lost princess' crown? The crown that _you _were tasked with guarding? In a huge room filled with guards in the center of a _FORTRESS? _My ears disappeared altogether I buried them so far back. It was all I could do to make myself stand still so he could tack up.

He was sabotaging us! After all I had done to get us this far, this one stupid incident of gross incompetence was going to bust us back to privates if we were lucky, send us packing if we were not. I couldn't help myself any longer. I 'accidentally' stepped on his foot as he mounted up. Unfortunately, I still needed him to add legitimacy to my mission.

"Alright, men!" Thomas shouted, wheeling me about with a harsh tug on the bit, which was altogether unneeded. "It's time to bring this Flynn Rider in once and for all!" With that, he set his heels to my side and we sped off.

Flynn Rider? I knew the name. He was the kingdom's chief parasite, a thief of the worst sort, and wanted dead or alive unless I missed my mark. Perhaps then I could forgive Thomas to some extent. He couldn't hope to mentally contend with one as undeniably intelligent as the master thief.

Well, the stakes had changed now. Loosing the crown would be the end of our career, but the honor associated with recovering the crown and bringing the thief to justice could not be overestimated.


	3. The Hunt Continues

**Author's Note:** Ok, this got a wee bit long compared to the others (maybe not... I'm doubting my ability to tell after all), but I just couldn't stop before I did. Such a perfect cliff hanger (though, a few paragraphs more and it would have been literal). I didn't wait as long before reading over this chapter, so there's probably even more errors. Feel free to point them out to me, and please, feel free to point out the good, the bad, and the ugly. I love constructive criticism.

* * *

Chapter 2

Shod hooves clattering, skidding across the cobblestones, we charged out of the town and across the bridge. The bite in my limbs told me that I was running as fast as I could on the unsteady surface without my legs sliding out from beneath me. My fellows were having similar traction problems, but fortunately, our mounted comrades expected this treacherous portion of the ride and held on tight. Still, I breathed a little easier when I felt hard-packed earth breaking apart beneath me again.

From there we followed the staggered trail of winded foot soldiers, leading us off into the forest. Watching the ground with increasing interest, attempting to avoid the burrows and roots that littered the ground, I had no warning when Thomas picked up the reins and hauled back. Thrusting my front legs out, I came to a halt and glared over my shoulder. This had better be good.

"Which way did they go?" Thomas was asking the final soldier who was leaning against a tree, face bright red and mouth gaping like a fish. The soldier just pointed down a perfectly obvious trail in the forest and then I had spurs against my sides once again.

Really? Somehow I had the mental capacity to be exasperated with my rider even while following the trail and watching my footing. He could have just asked me. The signs of the thief's passage were all but blazing. It seemed that he must have had others running with him to make such a mess; accomplices, probably, given the nature of what he'd just accomplished. I staked a mental red flag on that idea. After all, chasing a bandit into a dark hole was all well and good unless he had friends to outflank you.

THERE!

Just for a moment, I saw them charging through the trees. Then the leaves enveloped them again. Thomas gave me a kick then, as if I didn't already know that greater speed was needed. I could have just bucked him off and captured the thief myself… but people would probably frown upon that. Yet another injustice of my world. Taking the bit in my teeth lest he decide to start yanking on it again, I surged forward, my fellow horses hard-pressed to match my pace.

HAHA! There they were again! Not so fast now, and no wonder! Those two giants were lumbering behind Rider like elephants. I could probably follow them blind-folded with one hoof tied behind my back.

But wait? What were they doing? The fools! Didn't they know they were running straight into a little box canyon? Impressed with my knowledge? Well, you shouldn't be, I'd been out in these woods a time or two, and unlike humans, we horses tend to be extremely wary of our surroundings.

"Follow them!" I ordered the four-legged sergeant on my right. He didn't say anything in response, just ducked his head once in rhythm with his running and stayed on them. I, on the other hand, peeled off with those horses who had not followed the sergeant.

"What are you doing, Maximus?" Thomas shouted, giving me a couple good kicks in the side and sawing on the reins. Fortunately, I'm quite the stud and thoroughly built, so I just puffed out my muscles and took the beating. As for the bit? I already had it in my teeth, remember? Dear little Captain Thomas was just along for the ride at this point, and so were the rest of his men. Still, I managed to spare a moment to roll my eyes at the glorious soldier upon my back.

Three minutes later, I'm sure Thomas was ready to apologize profusely for treating me so poorly. Over a log, around an oak, through some tall brush, and then we were above and behind the box canyon, and not a moment too soon either. Flynn had already climbed out, and after a terrified glance our way – well merited, I assure you – he dashed off. Now, I'm not one to brag, but if we'd followed them into the box canyon as Thomas had wanted, Flynn Rider would have been long gone.

I could just _feel_ Thomas' eyes widening at the sight of the bandit not forty-feet in front of us. "Get the crown, whatever it takes!" he barked out even as he gave me a more polite cue to speed up.

"Yes, Sir!" his men shouted back.

Of course, they weren't the ones needing to run down this fleet-footed and cunning foe. "You heard him!" I shouted to my stallions, hoping to solidify their determination.

"Yes, Sir!" came their echoing chorus.

Racing forward, we gradually closed distance with that weed of a man, but I had to give it to him, he knew how to use the terrain to his advantage, and however in-tune I may be with the natural world, I'm still roughly five-feet tall and eleven-hundred pounds. I'm no squirrel. It was leaping over logs and weaving through saplings, turns on a copper coin and sod getting hurled high in the air by thundering hooves, and always, he was one step ahead of us.

I felt a subtle breeze by my ear that would have surely spooked a lesser beast, but as it was, I merely blinked as a volley of crossbow bolts thudded into the log just in front of me. Huzzah for training! I hurdled the log as if it were no more than sprig in my path, then banked hard to keep with his zigzagging.

All at once a great, sprawling oak rose before us, limbs swooping down to touch the ground. Surely he was caught now! But no! He climbed through them with an almost feline ability. Briefly, I wondered if he had, in fact gotten away, but as I approached, the gaps in the bows widened before me, and I saw my chance. It would be a near thing, but perhaps I could manage it. Drinking in a deep breath, I coiled my muscles and eyed the gap.

ONE two three ONE two three ONE two THREE!

I leapt with all the strength within me, heart somewhere near my gag-reflex, I think. I'd seen foolish horses try to make such jumps before. I'd seen the price of failure and it made me feel sick. My hooves scraped the bark, sending chunks flying this way and that, but then I was through! My hooves smacked the ground and I was off again. Now it was just Thomas, Flynn, and I, and it was exactly the way I wanted it.

"We've got him now, Maximus!" Thomas shouted. How much better could this moment get? _Finally_, Thomas was starting to understand me, or at least it felt that way.

I admit, I was just starting to get cocky right about then. The maddening success of seeing yourself accomplish what should be impossible will do that to you. Unfortunately, arrogance comes directly before a major setback in most cases, and so it was that, while I thrummed along at a good clip, it suddenly dawned on me that I had no idea where the villain had gone. How could he have disappeared from sight so suddenly?

Then there was a '_thump_' and a great changing of weights on my back. "YAH!" a strange new voice shouted from my back. I glanced over my shoulder in confusion; then all four legs went rigid and I skidded to a halt.


End file.
